Sunday, September 21, 2014

Uncertain Future


I am in a frustrating and uncertain place in my life.  I’m injured, and I was told this week I will not have a contract with Brooks next year.  I am feeling betrayed, frustrated, anxious, and irate, so I’ve avoided writing anything on my blog.  However, my wise high school coach, Zhao, has encouraged me to keep a record of my recovery, so my goal is to try and do a better job of processing this journey, regardless of how much of a drag it may be to read.

Recovery from hip surgery is still going well.  I’m able to walk around, bike, do few pull-ups, and PT exercises.  I want to be very cautious in the healing process, but I am aching to physically challenge my body.  When I feel something in my hip, I am always asking myself, “is this soreness of pain? Is this helping my body or hurting my healing?” Sometimes it’s really hard to tell, so I’ve just been stopping when I’m not sure.  I ignored pain for way too long this year, and ended up wasting a year of competition.

In terms of the future of my running career, I want to keep training for at least two more years.  If I heal, work hard, and have some luck, I will have a shot at making the Olympic team in 2016.  A lot of steeple women had awesome PR’s this year, but I believe I can compete with them. 

How am I going to get access to the resources I need to for training?  It sounds like Brooks may create an un-paid position on the Beast team for me.  I could move again. I could support myself in Seattle or Minneapolis.  I do not know what the best possible combination of support and resources is at the moment, but I am searching for something that will give me a real opportunity at making the Olympics.

                                      I got to go to lots of weddings this summer...

                                                 I went to a cool Chihuly exhibit.

                                   And my mom sends me cute pictures of her pug.